In 2007 I'm Thankful For. . .

I started this little list at the beginning of the month. . . the items are more in chronological order (as pertaining to events of the past few weeks) than anything priority-ish (even though I am TELLING you, you gotta try that Sonic burrito, no joke).

Steak, Egg and Cheese Breakfast Burrito at Sonic. Damn that thing is good.

Also grateful, upon returning from Institute, that I don't care about minutia.

Radiohead "In Rainbows."

Facebook, sadly enough.

The internet and Google and Wikipedia.

My amazing kids at festival. I didn't have to yell at one kid all day! It seems as if I have finally succeeded in teaching my students mind reading, or at least the reading of MY mind, which is really the only one that in their minds should matter. I asked them who they really were and what they had done with my real kids. I then added that they were making me believe that I had been teaching idiots for the past 6 years. True story.

Throwing the piece of paper up with the boys, they scream until it hits the floor (supposedly an old Boy Scout device)

Diet Mountain Dew

Pebble ice

Prep periods (so that you can sneak out and get the fountain drink of Diet Mountain Dew with the pebble ice)

My cell phone, again, sadly enough.

Laughing so hard that you cry. And when that happens, I'm very thankful for waterproof mascara.

My ward.

The Harvest Hills Monday night FHE group. (along with the games Mad Gab & Loaded Questions) It's been really nice to be able to go to FHE for the first time in 2 years.

Going up to someone at church that you don't recognize to say hi and find out that they're mystery name #46 on the list you've been staring at for weeks.

My best friend who gave me therapy on 11/10, and who then helped interpret a divine message a few days later.

Plants in my house, even though I'm not very good at taking care of them. I believe they are calling into question my future parenting skills.

My bishop.

The chance to shoot a shotgun. Even though I got the nastiest bruise!

My hilarious roommate who is always in a happy mood.

The scriptures. They just make me feel good, and it's like the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser for anything bad in my mind.

Rhodes rolls. I think last night for Thanksgiving we just about made our best batch ever.

My mom who tucks me in with a blanket when I fall asleep on the couch.

The elves that keep sneaking over to mow my yard so that I have yet to learn how to do it myself.

Mashed potatoes, THE Thanksgiving staple.

My house: I love it, it is beautiful and it is mine. And my family is here right now, making it full, warm and cozy.

The garbage disposal. Mine stopped working last night, and didn't realize just how grateful I am for it when it is usually working. And while I'm feeling generous and benevolent, let's throw in how thankful I am for the garbage men too.

My little orchid that has been stuck in half bloom for like 4 days now! They are gorgeous though, and worth the wait, and do they last forever. This is one of my many attempts to go against my true nature of killing plants and forcing my thumb to turn green.

IKEA, I guess. Anything in my house that my mom and Ashley liked and asked where I got it, the answer was inevitably IKEA. Will take them there today. Makes me laugh that the answer to that question is no longer Target.

My temple recommend.

My brother and sister.

The Final Countdown

For some inexplicable reason, I have of late been obsessed with the 80's hit "The Final Countdown." I'm playing in my classroom for my kids for no particular reason at all, and I rock out to it by myself---all the harder when I'm occupied with the most mundane of tasks; it's my status on gmail chat and nowadays I'm constantly making reference to it in conversation. I can't help but laugh out loud as I think of Arrested Development's character Gob making his grand entrance on stage for his magician's act, dagger in mouth and scarves flailing, "The Final Countdown" blaring. It has become the official theme song of my 30th birthday, which is actually pretty novel---I've never felt inspired to have a theme song for my birthday! Ooh, and how about a birthday soundtrack? I think the hamster in my head just woke up and that squeaky wheel is starting move on it's axis. WD-40, anyone?

When you're 18, you can serve in the military, vote, be prosecuted as an adult and move out of your parents house without them being able to do anything about it. But no one really respects you except for your 17-year old friends. People SAY you're an adult when you're 21 and you can get into bars and gamble and drink. And although the world may be your oyster in Sin City (ah, home sweet home), you're still not old enough to rent a car there. (And you're still paying as much for your insurance as those mature 16-year olds.) I think the new official age of adulthood should be changed to 30. When people tell you they're 30, well, dude, I respect that. . . like totally. I feel like at 30, there's not going to be any other explanation for stupid behavior other than a midlife crisis. So this is it. Since I only have 6 days of my roarin' twenties left before I'm obliged to be a responsible adult with a completely developed frontal lobe, I really need to make them count. Thus, today I sought counsel from some of my esteemed colleagues at the junior high. Here's the advice I got from 2 of my classes when I asked them what I should do in my last week of excusable irresponsibility.

The most creative from the 8th and 9th grade Men's Choir class:

-Go to an old folks home, run up to a random old lady and say, "Grandma, I haven't seen you in so long!"
-Buy a golf cart
-Go bungee jumping
-Pour out a can of tomato juice in Walmart and leave a trail leading to the bathroom (for some reason a lot of suggestions surrounded around doing something to or in or at Walmart)
-Put peanuts in envelopes and leave them on my neighbor's doorsteps with a note saying, "I'm just nuts about you" (I'll remember that next time I want to ask someone to prom.)
-Get married (yeah, like THAT hasn't crossed my mind)
-Bust mailboxes (if anything ever happens to your mailbox, you know to come find me and we can interrogate my class and send them to federal lockup)
-"Smoke" crushed Smarties candies (their latest obsession besides Walmart)
-Buy a dog
-Rent an RV and drive to Brazil
-Get a Big Gulp mix of every single flavor soda at 7-11 (boys, that's what we call a "suicide")
-Wrestle with pigs (I actually do have a pig connection if I felt so inclined)
-Get in a shopping cart and ride down a hill
-Tell the boss to "eat my shorts"
-Go fence busting (basically running battering ram style into one of those fences with the vinyl panels---supposedly it just pops out and doesn't hurt that bad)

Following this class I had one of my 3 sections of Women's Choir, compised of girls grades 7-9, but with about 80% coming from the seventh grade. Initially I wasn't planning on asking them, but after having received such crazy responses with the boys, I thought it might be an interesting sociological experiment to see what they came up with on their own. Their suggestions were just as disturbing as the boys'. (So as to not influence their ideas and taint the validity of this all-important experiment I did not tell them what the boys had said.) Just keep in mind that many of these ideas were from people who are still not tall enough to ride all the roller coasters at the amusement park.

-Go clubbing
-Go skydiving
-Eat nothing but candy and soda for 6 days straight (hmmm)
-Walk around in the mall wearing a swimsuit and goggles (Mall is to girls as Walmart is to boys, I discovered, if nothing else in this experiment)
-Hold up a sign on State St. that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy" (should be fairly easy after having lost all dignity at the mall)
-Toilet paper houses (this was another big fixation)
-Go into a fitting room, wait for a few minutes and then yell, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
-Glue money to the ground and watch how many people go to pick it up (not as fun as it sounds: I know)
-Pretend to be a hitchhiker (scary idea, girls. geez!)
-Hide in clothes racks and scare people
-Prank call people (oh how I miss the pre-*69 and pre-caller id days of the 5th & 6th grade---these girls SO don't even know what they missed!)
-Have a food fight
-Steal bags full of raked leaves and search for unlocked cars in which to throw the leaves (another variation was to find cats and throw them in people's open cars as well)
-Break out spontaneously into dance in random places and moments (c'mon, that's like everyday already)
-Dye my hair pink

So. What in THE world is in the Orem water these chillins be drinking? I mean, for realz. Weigh in, and let me know whose vexing responses you found more deranged and bizarre: those of the 8th & 9th grade boys, or those of the 7th grade girls. The verdict is still out for me. Hey, I only write this stuff, you know.

Declaration of Love

2 lines short of a sonnet, this impromptu poem titled "Declaration of Love" was drafted on my dry erase board by 4 of the boys in my Men's Choir on February 14, 2007. A few copies of the poem were put into circulation---taped up around the school, a gift to my boyfriend at the time, pinned on one of the boy's bedroom walls---but those, along with the original transcription have long since been lost. Last week the boys rewrote the poem, and now I will publish it on the immortal internet, where it shall live on in infamy for the millions of readers of my blog. It is pretty deep stuff so it will require your repeated and persistent perusal.

Love is in the air.
Love is everywhere.
Love is in my hair.
Love is naked and bare.
Love can give you a scare.
Love is as hairy as a bear.
Love is in my underwear.
Love can turn into an affair.
Love is something you should share.
Oh where, oh where can love be found?
In the air, in the ground,
That's where love can be found.